Women Alone Together

Women Alone Together

Last week, I spent 5 days in southern Utah both doing and learning a lot. I have a lot of new data on how my body works (resting metabolic rate, V02, body composition), new skills from workshops (cooking, meditation and posture), and inspiration from new workouts (Drums Alive, MELT, Ultimate Barre, yoga). I also spent a lot of time walking, hiking and staring at my new desert animal friends. But that’s not what this is about.

This was my first solo vacation. I knew it would be a break from responsibilities. What I didn’t anticipate was the pleasure of being away from living my life like someone’s watching: always prepared to be “on”, setting an example by visibly making the right choices and striving to be a good role model. Austin still in some sense feels like a small town with lots of cross connections, but somehow in Utah I was no one’s mother, wife, friend, colleague or boss. Losing the need to define myself in any relative terms was a gift in itself and I spent 4 days trying to get in touch with what I wanted and doing that. On one morning included skipping planned hikes and all manner of intellectual enrichment in favor of drinking coffee in bed and watching Under the Tuscan Sun in all its cliched glory. I cried. No regrets.

Because the Red Mountain Resort is known for being super female solo traveler friendly, it was packed with a diverse group of other women who needed a break from playing their roles in life as well. Some had hard choices in front of them, some were recovering from physically or emotionally devastating occurrences, many were stressed by the daily demands of the “sandwich generation” – running their own families while now also being in charge of the care of their parents. Interestingly, quite a few shared secrets and intimacies me that that can’t or wont tell their friends in the real world. The break from being yourself also means that no one has the context with which to judge you or in any way change their opinion of you. WHAT A GIFT.

I highly recommend the programming at the Red Mountain Resort and have already attempted to incorporate some of what I learned there into my life at home. But, as I dive back into real life today, what I want to maintain is the ability to listen to what it is that I truly want, the courage to share more of what is actually going on in my head and the openness to try to grow – awkwardly – surrounded by people who actually know me.



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